My mom used to say at the end of a vacation, special things wouldn't be special if they were regular. I know plenty of regular things that are special and will never cease to make me happy. Like grande, half skim, half soy, two pump pepermint lattes. Or smiles. Or love.
But, there are somethings that just wouldn't be as special if they were regulars. Like waking up every morning to a beautiful beach, a big breakfast, and a relaxing day. It may take a while for that to get boring, but eventually it would. That's why going on vacation every once in a while gives us so many butterflies we can't sleep the night before. That's why when William asked if Uncle Tim and Aunt Izzie could just go back to Vermont and I could stay with them forever, she told them that I would eventually have to be the one that made them go to school, and do their homework, and go to bed, and eat real food instead of junkfood. She had a point. As great as it was to stay with the boys all weekend, it had to end before it lost all sense of excitement and specialty.
Driving home though, I got that feeling. The one that you get when you spent so long looking forward to something and then it's over and even though it was just as great as you thought it would be, you don't quite know what to do for a moment. It's a sad feeling. I've been looking forward to staying with the boys for months and even though it was exhausting and I needed some me time, I couldn't stop the tears as I drove away.
I love the life and excitement of being with them and for this weekend, I felt needed. It's always fun to feel needed and definitely fun to do something out of the normal routine. The loud, crazy boys were a welcomed change to the annoying college girls that I usually live with.
The scary part of the weekend was thinking about the phone call I received on Wednesday before I left. A job offer from Jason. First reaction? Thank goodness! The search is over and the offer is perfect! Second reaction? I'm soooo not ready for college to end. Third? The Chicago/Denver dilemma will never end. While I was thrilled at the offer, I was simultaneously devastated that it meant I'd be leaving Chicago. And the Dugan's. I know the feeling would be the same had the offer been in Chicago and I was that far away from my mountains and my family, but still. The knot was there and even though I don't see them all the time or even every weekend, the thought of only seeing them twice a year and having to share them then, was a lot to stomach coming off the weekend as I did.
I know that the offer is right. That for now (post-graduation), for some reason, Denver is where I should be... but is it unfair to say that I'm not ready for my magical Chicago life as a student to end? Cuz it's a really good thing.
